In the chapter on human alchemy in "The red market", there is a quote that says, "Whether we like to admit it or not, the most intimate relationship in our lives is the relationship we have with our own flesh. The final shame of death is the loss of control over one's own body."
The sudden fixation of movement, the habit of moving in a way that is not one's own, the irregular and sudden change of face, the disease of placement, the intrusion of an unfamiliar accent, the occasional stoppage of breathing, or the momentary loss of the heartbeat, the hardness of the forehead - close to death, but rejecting it, or the saying, "There is nothing worse than death! Nothing is worse than death".